so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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