; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
