so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
