Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Be still, my beating vagina.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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