you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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