4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
