we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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