wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
