My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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