what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
