Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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