he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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