in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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