Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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