I want to stick my p in your. b.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
