i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
