When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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