im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
