Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
