Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
