good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
