I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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