it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
