you guys were way drunker than both of me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize