the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
