3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
