I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
