Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
