yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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