He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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