new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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