Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I enjoy the company of your penis
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
