We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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