i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you would pick up someone in the library
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
