Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
People in love make me want to vomit
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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