So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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