I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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