im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Alive.
So much puke
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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