if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
