i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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