You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
