Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
that is very illegal...i love you.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
