wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
