I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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