you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
