Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
