She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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