DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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