i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
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This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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