My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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