I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize