why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
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You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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