PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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