do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
