he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
