Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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