READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
