Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
