I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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