I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
