I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
