when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
