Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Umm I'm too high to move.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
