I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
