ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
