I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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