I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
