Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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