Cold hands, warm shart.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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