I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
