Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
