I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
